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Archive for December, 2009

Keep away from me…

So much has changed since I last sat down to write.

Reconnecting
Disconnecting
Insomnia
Crying
Pain
Hurt
Loathing
More Pain
Tiny Bits of Happiness

It’s been quite the roller coaster ride. I am ready for it to end already.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve realized on these long nights of not sleeping that I miss the shit out of Billy Mays. Infomercials/Ads he used to be in have been redone with people that suck. His voice would always snap me out of one thought and make another jump into my brain. There’s no one to do that anymore. Shame.

Also. Women are bitches **.




** With the exception of Not Fluffy, H, and Bacon.

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The Old War Horse

My cat just died. We buried him ten minutes ago.

He’d probably been in ten thousand fights in his life, and won probably all of em. Every morning there’d be a fresh chunk of meat missing from some various part of him – most notably, the lower corner of his ear, which, in the last 3 years of his life, never did stick straight up again, but rather, stayed cocked off to the side.

As bad as his injuries were, I really would have hated to see the other guys, because that old bugger was a brute for sure, once capable of fighting two other cats at one time. I still can’t believe he’s gone – even if I expected it to come to pass.

The old guy hadn’t looked quite right for the last month or so, he didn’t gain weight as the cold came, nor did his coat look shiny and freshly groomed as he used to keep it, but he seemed to feel fine – his eyes were still bright, and his meow was still a happy one… even if it hadn’t been the same one from before he got part of his neck ripped open.

Every morning, and then afternoon, no matter how banged up he looked, he’d be found, sitting on the deck railing, or before the door, watching the window, waiting for his breakfast or dinner, greeting you with a meow, a good dose of purring, and a few circles around your leg until the food was in his bowl.

He was found by the barn this morning about 11, just laying there barely breathing. Not long before, he was seen walking back across the yard. An hour later, he took his last breath and went.

I can’t stop crying.


Possum
5.02 – 12.2.09

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