Archive for the ‘Uhh…?’ Category

(Picture omitted because it pissed me off)

Afghan spectators watch a dog fight in Kabul in 2009. Outlawed under Taliban rule and now legal and very popular in Afghanistan, each Friday from November to March thousands of Afghans gather on the western outskirts of Kabul to watch the spectacle of dog fighting. A remote-control bomb exploded at a dog fight in southern Afghanistan on Friday, killing and wounding up to 20 people, police said.

I say GOOD!

Christ, this makes me sound nearly as fanatical as PETA…


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Sorry, I couldn’t resist making that.

Better late than never.

Edit: Due to illnesses caused by the photo included in this post, it has been removed. The nausea should go away soon.

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Are you kidding me?

Pack of feral beagles frightening Long Island residents

That was the headline on yahoo news just a bit ago.

I mean… Really? They’re Beagles, not mountain lions.

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Keep away from me…

So much has changed since I last sat down to write.

More Pain
Tiny Bits of Happiness

It’s been quite the roller coaster ride. I am ready for it to end already.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve realized on these long nights of not sleeping that I miss the shit out of Billy Mays. Infomercials/Ads he used to be in have been redone with people that suck. His voice would always snap me out of one thought and make another jump into my brain. There’s no one to do that anymore. Shame.

Also. Women are bitches **.

** With the exception of Not Fluffy, H, and Bacon.

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Gee, I always thought you got AIDS from smacking ducks with a spoon.

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Woody Allen’s A What?!?

Last night, I had a dream.

I had a dream that I was invited to go for a short ride on James Cameron’s yacht.

Why, I do not know, but it was a dream.

So in the dream, I am there with Cameron, and a few other people I do not recognize, and the one other person I do recognize is Woody fucking Allen. So that night, I can’t sleep – because it’s the first time I’ve been on a yacht – so I decide to go play around on the jetski that is towed with the ship, well, after about 20 minutes of tooling about on the jetski, I have to pee… Not a normal pee, but a full on ‘if I don’t go right now, my kidneys will explode‘ piss.

So I hop off the jetski and into the water, pull out my stuff yes I know I am in the water, so I don’t HAVE to take it out, but I do… and I start peeing and all of a sudden, I hurt. I put my hand in my pee stream in the water, and I feel lumps hitting my palm… HERE’S THE FREAKY PART.

I pull up a fist full of little red and yellow gummy worms… Gummy worms with little blue gill/wing thingies… but they are ALIVE!!!!

I freak out and hop back on the jetski and haul ass back to the yacht with one of the living gummy worms that I PISSED out into the ocean in my pocket. I get back onboard the boat and go to wake up the medical staff, but no one is awake, nor are they waking… So after a frantic search of the ship, I find WOODY ALLEN… only he wasn’t Woody Allen … HE WAS A BIOLOGIST… I tell him what’s going on and I ask him for a cup to put the worm in…

He doesn’t have one, but the thing was on his downtime from being a Biologist, Woody Allen is an amateur photographer. He pulls out one of those black film canisters with the gray lid (a pot holder for you stoners out there), dumps the film out, and puts the worm in it. He then puts it in his pocket and goes to the side of the boat. I ask him what the fuck he’s doing, as he climbs over the railing.

He looks back at me over his right shoulder and goes “There’s no time to lose, I have to get this back to the lab.” And he jumps the fuck off the boat and starts to swim to shore.

I woke up and I had to pee REALLY bad. I was nervous as hell too.


The following is Bacon and I discussing the dream.

Bacon says:
the bears is what got me
in my head i imagined the pixies from harry potter
Thomas says:
Bacon says:
….i totally read it as gummy BEARS
Thomas says:
Bacon says:
which is wayyyyyyyyyy funnier than worms
Thomas says:
hahah no these were worms … but they had wi…
Bacon says:

I can’t believe I didn’t realize it before. They were gummy Goa’uld. I watch way too much Stargate!

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